You can say all that you want to. You can try your best to insult me. Harsh words, disgusted looks. Disappointment and disapproval. Give it your all, but let me tell you this. Your words wont even as much as breeze my hair.
Honey, I have had all these come from people I called my best friends. What makes you think that your words would as much as even twitch a nerve in me. I have had my mother give up on me, I have had myself cut off from people. What makes you think that I'd even notice your dissatisfaction, let alone care about it.
I agree. You have it all. Your clothes, shoes, bags, you're beautiful, you're classy, you've got a status, there are people you approve of and not, you are picky, you like expensive stuff, I get it. But show me one thing you got that cant be bought, that cant be replaced.
I dont have fun dressing up. I own a total of 3 pairs of shoes, but wear the same one everyday. I don't style my hair, I don't do my nails. I like street food better than any expensive restaurants, I don't mind sitting on the footpath. I'll drink straight out of the can and I'll eat whilst I'm walking. I can carry my bags and I can walk for miles. And if these make me any less classy, so be it.
Classy is not when you announce how much you love those expensive stuff. Or when you keep to yourself, involving only with those worthy of you. Not being able to carry your stuff does not make you the damsel in distress. Complaining about your work and bragging about how much you got done does not work that way. And bitching about people definitely makes you lose all your class.
I'd rather sit at a park bench surrounded by stray cats with someone special, than go shopping at the mall. I'd rather eat a shawarma with my friends on the road than sit at Starbucks with classy people. I'd rather do nothing than have to pretend like I'm having fun.
When you involve yourself with people from all walks of life, when you have enough compassion in you to understand where they come from, that's when you show some class. If you can eat your food without complaining, or pick your stuff without fussing about it, that's when you show some class. And if you could please stop saying that you are very classy, then maybe you'd actually have some.
You know what's the difference between you and me?
I don't need anyone's approval. You know that's something dangerous about people who are self-motivated. When they have no one to appreciate them, they start doing it themselves. They pick themselves up when they fall, they'll find their way in and out. And you can try all you want, they wont give you a second glance.
Laugh at all her jokes, where do you think you're going with it. Put on an accent when you need to impress, show me where it takes you. Throw me all your disapproving looks, but tell me why you think that I need your approval. Who do you think you are, who are you to judge, what makes you think you are perfect?
Look carefully, and I'll show you my scars. I'll tell you about the time when my mum asked me to get out of the house. I'll tell you about my days in the hospital bed, my hours outside the MRI scan, about how it feels like in a hospital gown. I'll tell you about that time when my dad wouldn't look me in the face. About when my sister told me she wished I were dead. I'll tell you about all those nights I couldn't sleep, about all my nightmares.
Listen carefully, and I'll tell you why I couldn't care less of what you think of me.
~ fay
